Dr Sherrie Lee | Tag: networking

International professional using character strengths to network across cultures at a professional event

When You Feel Like a Fish Out of Water

That is how I would describe myself in many networking moments — watching people fall into easy conversation and laughter while I find myself alone in a corner, wondering how they make it look so effortless. It happens when I am in a room full of strangers, when the topics seem out of my league, when the jargon jungle closes in around me.

But then I remember why I came: to meet new people, learn something useful, and give new connections a chance to form.

In my first few years in New Zealand, I was acutely self-conscious of the way I looked and how I sounded. My fair skin and black hair meant I was frequently assumed to be from China (I’m from Singapore), and well-meaning folk would greet me with ni hao — to which I would simply say hello in return. For context, this was Hamilton: a smallish university city with international students coming and going, and a particular brand of parochialism I found difficult to reconcile with my very urban, cosmopolitan outlook. It was humbling, and at times uncomfortable.

While I was completing my PhD, I focused on building an academic network, attending as many symposiums and conferences as I could manage. But when the academic career did not materialise, I found myself having to build a completely different network — business owners, public servants, entrepreneurs — people who did not especially care that I had a doctorate. Venturing from the safe harbour of academia, where people enjoyed discussing abstract ideas and methodological debates, into a world of money, practicality, and politics, was disorienting and, at times, disaster-prone.

Speech bubbles of different shapes and colours representing different small talk topics

What saved me, eventually, was small talk. Once I could talk to one person about the weather, the food, or what was interesting about the venue, the rest felt more possible. Rapport came first. Everything else followed.

I share this not as a cautionary tale but as context: feeling like a fish out of water in networking situations is not a personal failing. It is an experience shared by international professionals navigating unfamiliar cultural codes, by migrants rebuilding professional lives from scratch, and by introverts everywhere who find the whole enterprise exhausting before it has even begun. What helps — for all of these groups — is not a better script or a more polished elevator pitch. It is a clearer sense of who you already are, and how to bring that forward with intention.

This is where character strengths come in.

What Are Character Strengths and Why Do They Matter for Networking?

The VIA character strengths framework, developed through research in positive psychology by Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman, identifies 24 strengths — qualities like Bravery, Curiosity, Kindness, and Zest — that represent the best of who we are. Everyone possesses all 24 strengths in varying degrees. Some sit near the top of your profile almost without your noticing, because they are so intuitive. Others require more conscious effort. All of them are genuinely good, and all of them have a positive impact on others when applied with awareness.

Taking the free VIA Survey at viacharacter.org gives you a ranked list of all 24 — your own unique character profile. And here is what I have found, both in my own networking journey and in working with international professionals and career coaching clients: when you understand your strengths, networking becomes less about performing a version of yourself you think the room wants to see, and more about bringing forward what is already there.

It is also worth thinking differently about what networking actually is. It is not a dreaded event with fancy drinks and a business card quota. It is a series of small moments — a question asked, a laugh shared, a follow-up email sent three days later. It is not the event that gets you a job. It is the small conversations that help people remember you. That shift in framing alone can take the pressure off considerably.

Below, I want to walk through four character strengths that I have found particularly useful in networking contexts — especially for those of us who feel culturally out of place, socially uncertain, or simply not built for working the room.

Bravery: How Do You Face the Fear of Walking In?

To be brave is to face your challenges rather than avoid them.

A Māori proverb or whakataukī captures this beautifully: Tūwhitia te hopo, mairangatia te angitū — feel the fear and do it anyway. But the literal translation offers something even more useful: tūwhitia te hopo means eliminate the negative; mairangatia te angitū means accentuate the positive. It is not just encouragement. It is a strategy.

Bravery in networking might look like tuning out the voice that says it will be a room full of strangers who have nothing to say to me, and replacing it with I might learn something useful from someone I have never met. That is a small but significant reframe — and it is exactly what Bravery, applied intentionally, makes possible.

Bravery also works well in combination with other strengths, particularly Creativity. If walking into a room alone feels too exposing, Creativity might suggest going with a friend and treating it as a social outing. Or setting yourself a small, manageable goal — two new connections added to your LinkedIn network by the end of the evening — rather than facing the whole room at once. Small targets, honestly pursued, are far more useful than ambitious ones abandoned at the door.

If Bravery is in your top five strengths: you likely already show up, even when it is hard. The work is in noticing that courage and giving yourself credit for it. If it is not: Bravery is a strength you can call on deliberately. Naming the fear, finding a manageable first step, and walking toward it anyway — that is Bravery in practice, regardless of where it sits in your profile.

Curiosity and Love of Learning: What Happens When You Get Curious Instead of Self-Conscious?

If Bravery gets you through the door, Curiosity and Love of Learning are what make the conversation worth having.

Curiosity is the motivating force that draws you toward new experiences and new people. Love of Learning is what happens next — the desire to hold onto and deepen what you discover. They are among the most closely related strengths in the VIA framework, and together they are, in my experience, the ideal combination for navigating an unfamiliar culture. They give you a reason to be in the room that has nothing to do with impressing anyone.

I remember hovering at the edge of a group already deep in conversation, smiling and nodding as people spoke. Mutual eye contact was my cue to offer a question. I made mental notes of what was interesting. I watched how others moved easily between groups — a friendly nice talking to you, hope to see you around and they were gone, joining another conversation entirely. In many Asian cultural contexts, leaving a conversation feels impolite. Here, it is simply how networking works. Curiosity helped me observe that without judgment, and Love of Learning helped me file it away.

Getting curious about the other person also has a liberating side effect: it takes the focus off yourself. The more I thought about networking as making friends rather than securing career opportunities, the less stressful it became. Nothing to lose. Everything to gain. And a much better opening line than Hi, I have a PhD, what do you do? — which I have, regrettably, actually said. A genuine question, a light observation about the event, or even a shared complaint about the weather will take you much further.

For international professionals specifically: your cultural unfamiliarity is not a liability here. It is material. Genuine questions about how things work in your new country — asked with real curiosity rather than performed interest — make people feel interesting and valued. That is a networking superpower many locals do not have.

Social Intelligence: How Do You Read the Room When the Rules Are Unfamiliar?

Social intelligence is the ability to be aware of and understand our own feelings and thoughts, as well as those of the people around us — and to respond in ways that are appropriate to the situation.

It is worth distinguishing it briefly from the related concept of emotional intelligence. While emotional intelligence focuses on identifying and managing your own emotions, social intelligence extends further: it includes understanding the dynamics of relationships and interactions, reading social situations accurately, and responding in ways that actually land. In a networking context, this is the difference between knowing you feel nervous and knowing what to do with that nervousness so it does not derail the conversation.

Here is a real example. I once approached a group at a networking event and asked what had brought them along that evening. The answer was brief: our company are event sponsors and we got free tickets. The group was clearly comfortable among themselves and not especially interested in conversation with a stranger. I felt foolish for a moment. Embarrassed, even.

But Social Intelligence gave me a second reading: these were likely regulars who had attended too many of these events, were there out of obligation, and had probably exhausted their networking energy hours ago. It was not about me. So I smiled, nodded graciously, and walked to the food table — partly to regroup, partly because the food was genuinely good — and looked for someone else who seemed more available for conversation. Drink in hand, I felt considerably less exposed.

That small recalibration — moving from what did I do wrong to what was actually happening in that interaction — is Social Intelligence at work. It does not eliminate awkward moments. It helps you recover from them without losing your footing.

For those who find networking socially exhausting: Social Intelligence also means knowing your own limits. Arriving early when the room is quieter, giving yourself permission to step outside for a moment, setting a time limit for the event — these are not cheating. They are self-awareness in action.

Putting It All Together: How to Use Your Strengths Before Your Next Networking Event

Whether Bravery, Curiosity, Love of Learning, and Social Intelligence appear at the top of your VIA profile or further down, they are all available to you. The question is how consciously you are drawing on them.

If these strengths are among your top five: bring them to networking moments with more intention. Notice when you are using them well, and when anxiety is quietly suppressing them. If they sit lower in your profile: here is an opportunity to develop them — to bring them to mind deliberately, practise them in lower-stakes situations, and notice what shifts.

Whatever your profile looks like, the goal of networking is not to become someone you are not. It is to bring who you already are into the room — with enough cultural awareness to calibrate how you express it, and enough self-knowledge to know what you are working with.

Start with the free VIA Survey at viacharacter.org. Fifteen minutes. Twenty-four strengths. Your own unique profile, ready to be put to work.

For Career Practitioners: Supporting Clients Who Struggle with Networking

If you work with clients who find networking uncomfortable — whether because of cultural unfamiliarity, social anxiety, introversion, or simply never having been shown how — the character strengths framework offers a practical and genuinely useful coaching lens.

Rather than beginning with tactics, begin with strengths. Ask your client what they already bring into a room. Help them name the courage it takes to show up at all. Explore with them which strengths they are suppressing out of anxiety versus which they are calibrating with cultural awareness. These are different conversations, and they lead to different outcomes.

I facilitate the CDANZ Special Interest Group on Character Strengths — a warm, reflective community of career practitioners exploring how strengths-based approaches can deepen our work with clients. Our next meeting is on Thursday 23 April 2026, 7–8pm (NZ time), and the topic is directly relevant if you support clients who find networking challenging — whether that is international professionals navigating a new cultural context, or anyone dealing with social anxiety or uncertainty about where to begin.

The meeting is open to CDANZ members and non-members alike.

Register here: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/1FIbsNPYRGS9SydcbXqb6w

Dr Sherrie Lee is a career coach for cross-cultural and mid-career transitions, based in Wellington, New Zealand. She is a Certified Career Services Provider™, leads the CDANZ Special Interest Group on Character Strengths, and works with international professionals, migrants, and academics navigating career change across cultures. Learn more at thediasporicacademic.com or book a free 20-minute discovery call.

Careers / Cross-cultural

Lost in Translation? How to Network Across Cultures Without Losing Yourself

2 September 202512 September 2025adminLeave a comment

A migrant professional’s honest guide to building authentic connections that actually work

“Hi, I have a PhD in Education, what do you do?”

I still cringe remembering that introduction. There I was, all fired up and ready to make an impression at a professional networking event in New Zealand, and I managed to sound both arrogant and awkward in one breath. The polite smile on the other person’s face said it all.

If you’ve ever stood at a networking event clutching your drink for dear life, watching others exchanging enthused nods and laughter while you wonder who you’re supposed to become to fit in here, you’re not alone. The truth is, networking as an international professional isn’t just about overcoming the usual social anxieties—it’s about navigating an entirely new cultural code while trying to stay true to who you are.

The Networking Translation Trap: When Good Advice Goes Wrong

We’ve all heard it: “It’s not what you know but who you know.” For migrant professionals, this advice often comes with a bewildering follow-up: “Just start networking!” But networking how? With whom? And should you really be sliding into CEOs’ LinkedIn DMs with AI-generated messages saying you’re “open to work”?

While networking online seems easy enough and convenient, it is the in-person networking in real life that helps to build relationships and trust. Just like ‘easy apply’ on LinkedIn is usually too good to be true, so is the notion that one can get jobs simply through LinkedIn connections and smooth messages.

I’ve been there—both as the overeager newcomer firing off connection requests and as the wallflower studying my food with laser focus, especially when I was the only person of colour in the room. I’ve caught myself freezing when asked to ‘work the room,’ and I’ve observed fellow international professionals do the same—our usual confidence evaporating in a sea of unfamiliar social cues.

The problem isn’t that we don’t understand networking’s importance. The problem is that most networking advice assumes we all speak the same cultural language.

The Observation Phase: My Accidental Discovery

After enough awkward introductions (including my PhD disaster), I accidentally stumbled onto something that changed everything. Instead of trying to network at every event, I started treating some gatherings as pure observation missions.

I’d go with a friend, position myself strategically near conversations, and simply watch. How did people approach each other? What topics seemed to energise discussions? When did conversations naturally transition from small talk to professional topics? How long did people spend with each person before moving on? (Finally, putting my ethnographic skills from my PhD research to practical use!)

What I discovered was fascinating: successful networking looked completely different than I’d imagined. It wasn’t about being the most charismatic person in the room or having the perfect elevator pitch. It was about understanding the unspoken rhythm of professional social interaction in this particular cultural context—and more importantly, learning to move within that rhythm while staying true to yourself.

It all started to make sense when I realised that networking in this new cultural context wasn’t about having the perfect introduction—it was about mastering the art of thoughtful presence. I learned that you could stand at the periphery of a conversation, show genuine interest through your body language and attentive gaze, and often someone would naturally gesture you in with a smile and ‘Please, join us.’ That invitation felt magical because it was earned through authentic engagement, not forced through aggressive networking tactics.

Small Talk Isn’t Small: The New Zealand Lesson

In my early networking attempts, I tried to skip straight to “professional” conversation. Big mistake. In New Zealand’s cultural context, I learned that small talk isn’t just polite filler—it’s the foundation that everything else is built on.

Those conversations about weekend plans, the weather, or local events aren’t wasted time. They’re trust-building exercises. They signal that you’re approachable, that you see the other person as a whole human being, not just a potential career contact.

But here’s what took me longer to realise: you can absolutely talk about being new to the country, your cultural observations, or your experiences adapting to New Zealand work culture. These aren’t networking weaknesses—they’re conversation nuggets that make you memorable and relatable.

And for someone who has little interest and knowledge in sports, culture was my next best topic!

The Cultural Calibration: Finding Your Authentic Networking Style

The breakthrough came when I stopped trying to network “like a New Zealander” and started networking like myself but with cultural awareness. I developed what I now call “cultural calibration”: adapting your approach without abandoning your authentic self.

This meant:

Observing first: Understanding the local networking rhythm before jumping in
Practicing at low-stakes events: Testing my approach at casual gatherings before important professional events
Embracing my story: Using my migrant experience as conversation starters rather than hiding it
Building genuine curiosity: Focusing on learning about others rather than impressing them

The Relationship-First Reality Check

Here’s what all those LinkedIn networking “hacks” miss: networking is fundamentally about relationships, not transactions. You can’t skip to the transactional end and expect results (unless you’re truly a one-of-a-kind people have been waiting for all their lives).

And if you haven’t already realised it, networking is most effective when it begins long before a job is needed, not at the point of desperation!

Different cultures have different relationship-building timelines. Some business cultures move quickly from introduction to collaboration. Others require longer relationship investment before professional opportunities emerge. As international professionals, we need to read these cultural cues while building authentic connections.

Your Cross-Cultural Networking Toolkit

The key to networking success across cultures lies in strategic preparation, authentic engagement, and thoughtful follow-through. Here’s my three-phase approach for attending in-person networking events:

Before the Event: Research attendees and prepare cultural talking points that make you memorable for the right reasons.

During the Event: Balance observation with action—arrive early, set realistic goals (2-3 meaningful conversations), and remember that genuine curiosity translates across all cultures.

After the Event: Follow up within 48 hours with personalised messages that reference specific conversation points.

Small Talk That Actually Works

Remember, small talk is the foundation of trust-building in most cultures. Safe conversation starters include weather, local events, hobbies, and your positive observations about adapting to the local culture. Your international background isn’t something to hide—people are genuinely curious about your journey and cultural insights.

Avoid heavy topics like politics, religion, or salary details. Instead, focus on sharing interesting (not overwhelming) details about your professional path or cultural discoveries.

💡 Want the complete toolkit with specific conversation scripts, follow-up templates, cultural adaptation strategies, and confidence-building exercises?

Get your FREE Cross-Cultural Networking Toolkit

From Outsider to Insider: The Long Game

Networking isn’t a one-event solution—it’s a long-term relationship-building strategy that varies dramatically across cultures and connections. While some cultures favor quick professional connections, others require extended relationship investment before any career conversations begin. Similarly, some professional relationships spark immediately over shared goals or complementary expertise, while others develop slowly as you establish credibility and trust in your new environment. What matters isn’t the timeline—it’s the authenticity of the connection.

Here’s the human reality of the networking long game: you’re building relationships with real people, not LinkedIn profiles or AI-generated personas. Real people get overwhelmed, miss messages, and sometimes life simply gets in the way of timely responses. When your thoughtful follow-up goes unanswered, don’t spiral into rejection stories. Practice assuming positive intent—they’re likely just juggling their own challenges. There are countless other meaningful connections waiting to be made, so channel your energy toward those rather than overanalysing radio silence.

The professionals who thrive in cross-cultural networking aren’t the most outgoing or the most culturally assimilated. They’re the ones who show up consistently, contribute their unique perspectives authentically, and understand that networking is about building community, not collecting contacts.

Your cultural background isn’t something to overcome, it’s your networking superpower. In a world craving authentic connections, the professional who bridges cultures while staying true to themselves doesn’t just network successfully—they become the connection others seek out.

🌍 Ready for more cross-cultural career insights?

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Let’s Put These Strategies into Action

You don’t need to get lost in translation to build a powerful professional network. The most successful international professionals I know aren’t cultural chameleons—they’re authentic bridges who help others understand different perspectives while building genuine relationships.

Your networking journey isn’t about becoming someone else. It’s about learning to present your authentic self with cultural intelligence and strategic intention. The accent, the different perspective, the unique career path—these aren’t obstacles to overcome. They’re advantages that make you memorable in all the right ways.

The key is developing the confidence to show up as yourself while respecting the cultural context you’re operating in.

Ready to master authentic networking that accelerates your career without compromising who you are?

As a career coach who’s navigated this journey myself—from awkward PhD introductions to building meaningful professional networks across cultures—I understand the unique challenges international professionals face. My coaching combines cultural intelligence with practical networking strategies that honor your authentic self while achieving your career goals.

I’ve helped professionals from over 20 countries develop networking confidence that opens doors and creates opportunities. Whether you’re struggling with cultural adaptation, battling networking anxiety, or simply want to build more strategic professional relationships, I provide personalised strategies that work for your unique background and goals.

Learn more about me and book a free no-obligation 20-min call to find out how career coaching can help you.

Learn more

Dr Sherrie Lee is a Certified Career Services Provider™ and career coach specialising in cross-cultural career transitions. With a PhD in Education focusing on cultural networking practices and over 10 years of facilitation, training and coaching experience, she helps international professionals build authentic networks and thrive in new work cultures.

Careers

Nurturing career hope in challenging times

1 November 202410 March 2025adminLeave a comment

“*Rose blooming against the odds”, photograph by Sherrie Lee*

It is tough out there for job seekers.

Headlines shout bad news almost daily: “Young people struggle to find work” and “Unemployment rate soars”. It’s no wonder our minds get into a tailspin and our anxiety levels rise.

I experienced it during my job search following job redundancy, and I sense it now among graduating students, as well as their parents who have started posting on LinkedIn about their young people in need of a lucky job break.

As a career consultant, and a former international student graduate who struggled to find work in New Zealand, I share how you can become “career-hopeful” in very trying times.

First, it’s worth noting that bad news stays in our minds longer than good news. It also takes 3-5 positive events or interactions to counter a negative one. It’s not about denying the facts of the job market or the state of the economy, but it’s about focusing on things we can control and engaging in activities that help us improve our mood, practice skills or learn new ones, and ultimately provide hope that we can look forward to our future.

The STAR mnemonic is often used as an interview technique for demonstrating your competencies: Situation, Task, Action, Result: Describe the Situation and explain the Task with details about the Action you took, concluding with the Result of your action. We also use the STAR approach to develop our CV and cover letter. Because STAR is used to help articulate your abilities and values, it can also be used to help create positive events and interactions in your job search journey.

S for Situation and Success. Instead of describing a situation, you are creating one. Think about another S word – success. What is one thing you would like to be successful at? One common challenge for jobseekers is networking. Even for an extrovert like me, and particularly in a time when there are few relevant jobs to apply for, the last thing I wanted to do was to dress up, go someplace, and meet people in the hope of finding work. Yet, research tells us time and time again that our networks are an important factor in finding work opportunities and potential intel. The act of networking also provides an opportunity for us to let others know about who we are and contribute something valuable to a conversation. If you’re not naturally sociable or are feeling sceptical about networking, perhaps set yourself a challenge – attend one networking event with the goal of meeting and talking to at least two new people. If you make it to the networking event and chat with a few people, congrats! You’ve overcome fear or inertia and have learned to make new connections.

Find opportunities to take control of the situation and set yourself some achievable goals – the feeling of success should not be underestimated. For me, networking was a dopamine boost for my job search journey. It helped me get out of comfy clothes and remind myself that I was – and still am – a professional with something valuable to share and a curiosity to learn.

T for Task and Test. Set yourself some tasks to do towards a specific purpose. And here’s another T word to consider – test. Use these tasks to test your ideas and thinking and help you make decisions. For example, you might be thinking of switching industries or getting a new qualification. Talk to people in the industry or those who have made the switch or talk to the course provider about the entry requirements and career prospects. Make time to explore a question you have, a ‘what if’ scenario, and seek out others to help you find answers. Setting up smaller tasks and testing things helps to break down major decision-making into doable steps.

I often set up informational interviews with people when I want to find out more about moving to a different field or area of work. For example, I connected with people working in the training and coaching industry when I was considering becoming a career coach. These were a mix of coffee chats and short video calls that helped me understand what people did, and what they enjoyed about it, testing my own career ideas.

A for Action and Active. What actions could you take to engage in sharing or improving your skills and knowledge? You could volunteer your time and services in the local community or learn something new through a free online course on platforms like Coursera. Or give yourself permission to take a break from job searching and pick up a new hobby. Making a conscious decision to do something else that is meaningful will help you be refreshed and encouraged in your job search journey.

I enrolled in a micro-credential course in disruptive technologies which entailed weekly online guest lectures and working on assignments. This not only helped me gain new knowledge about an area I was interested in, but the structure also provided me with a routine and something to look forward to apart from just job hunting.

R for Result and Resilience. The result of all the above is Resilience. Identifying what you would like to be successful at, setting yourself doable tasks, testing ideas, and staying actively engaged in endeavours other than job hunting, will all help to improve your career resilience. We can’t deny the bumps we are experiencing, but we can learn to face up to them bravely and confidently.

It wasn’t always easy for me to wake up each day to bad news streaming on social media about not finding jobs. However, I found that by focusing my energy on things I could do, people I wanted to meet, and things I wanted to learn, I was in a much better frame of mind to look for work that resonated with my aspirations and values.

I hope the STAR approach provides a way for you to find career hope just as it has done for me.

This article was written for the Careers Newsletter produced by the Careers and Employment Team at Te Herenga Waka — Victoria University of Wellington

Careers

Planned Happenstance – How to Make your Own Career Luck

6 June 202410 March 2025admin1 Comment

We’re constantly bombarded by ‘get-rich-quick’ schemes – 5-day weight loss program, 3 days to a better you, be an overnight millionaire in a never-to-be-repeated 1-day course. I’ll admit I’ve been seduced by these promises of a sure-fire way to get what you want, only to find shortcuts end up as short circuits. There’s a power surge and the lights go off – and my enthusiasm goes *poof*

To be clear, if you’re attracted to a piece of advice and a pathway to success, by all means check it out and see if it makes sense and works for you. My own experience is that any change I want to see in myself or my circumstances depends on three things: motivation, habits, and accountability. For example, I had a repeated sprain in my arm for the past 6 months and this was related to a mixture of stress, body posture and working from home too much. I was motivated to fix this problem, so I signed up for a weekly Qigong class, and I had a physiotherapist friend check in to see if I was putting stretching and breathing lessons into practice. 4 weeks into the classes, I’m no Zen master but I certainly feel lighter and my arm looks to be sprain free – touch wood!

My experience with fixing my sprained arm parallels another real life issue – finding out about job opportunities. In this very tough employment environment, networking and uncovering the hidden job market becomes so important that I find myself prioritising this over refreshing the Seek job listings. Motivation – big fat check. As for habits – I needed to get myself out of this abyss of gloom and out into the real world of people and conversations.

Networking and Weak Ties

Networking is not just a buzzword for me. Networking is a concept built on the idea that networks are many connections (of people) linked on the basis of family, friendship, personal interests, employment, industry, business, and so on and so forth. My own PhD research utilised the principles of social networks and relationships to understand how first year international students sought out help for their assignments.

One of the most important ideas about networking pioneered by Stanford professor Mark G. Granovetter is that weak ties (eg, acquaintances, former colleagues) give you relatively more useful information than strong ties (eg, family, friends). Family and friends in your existing social circle hold information that you are already privy to, while acquaintances, former schoolmates and colleagues whom you don’t interact with on a regular basis are more likely to have information about jobs or leads that are unknown to you. (I highly recommend reading Granovetter’s seminal article “The Strength of Weak Ties”.)

Planned Happenstance

While the idea and evidence of the strength of weak ties is compelling, the actual reaching out to weak ties is another thing altogether. Here is where Planned Happenstance, a theory developed by another Stanford luminary the late John D. Krumboltz, comes into play (Mitchell, Levin, & Krumboltz, 1999; Krumboltz, 2009). Planned happenstance is about creating and transforming unplanned events into opportunities for learning and action. Yes, the term ‘planned happenstance’ is a deliberate oxymoron: ‘planned’ suggests being deliberate, while ‘happenstance’ appears to be fate or pure luck. Planned happenstance is not about relying on a lucky break or a knock on the door (and then never have it happen). Rather, it is about taking action to generate and find opportunities.

To illustrate, imagine that all day long you keep thinking you’re going to strike it rich by winning the lottery. You pray to the gods that you’ll be given lucky numbers. But nothing happens – because you haven’t even bought a ticket. So imagine you’re hoping that someone will shoulder tap you for your dream job. You pray to the gods you’ll be given the job you’ve been waiting for all your life. But nothing happens – because you haven’t left the house in the past 2 weeks.

In their book “Luck is No Accident”, Krumboltz and Levin sum it up like this:

“You have control over your own actions and how you think about the events that impact on your life. None of us can control the outcomes, but your actions can increase the probability that desired outcomes will occur. There are no guarantees in life. The only guarantee in life is that doing nothing will get you nowhere.” (Krumboltz & Levin, 2010, p. 9)

So what next? What are the habits we can cultivate to get us into action?

Image by Rama Krishna Karumanchi from Pixabay

Make Your Own Luck

Prepare for action – Take small steps, do something different, say”yes,” and then work out how you’re going to do it. Your mind can limit what you believe you can do. So train your mind to say yes, rather than no, and develop a bias for action. One way that works for me is to consciously sign up for a networking event or say yes to a social function. It puts something in my calendar and gives me a runway of a few weeks to think through how I might prepare myself. One recent example is how I said yes to be a discussant for an international education research forum. There was one empty slot taking place in about a month, and when I was asked if I wanted to lead the session I said yes – not having a clearly defined topic in mind, or worrying too much about what others might think of me. I work best with deadlines, and as the date in June drew closer, I got my mind attuned to my research and developing key messages for the audience.

Overcome barriers to action – Realise that if your action fails, you are no worse off than if
you did nothing. Don’t forget to celebrate your small successes. Participate in confidence-building exercises, such as accepting compliments gracefully. I’ve sat in front of the laptop for many days on end, doom-scrolling through the jobs that either didn’t interest me or were jobs that I could certainly do – and so could hundreds more. I did have a job interview a few weeks ago which I thought went very well, but in the end they found someone else – and there were many great candidates to choose from. I was disappointed but nonetheless encouraged by the hiring manager’s feedback that they enjoyed interviewing me (which tells me it wasn’t just me thinking I had a great interview). I accepted that feedback and considered it a successful outcome – that I prepared well and the interview panel were impressed with my answers. This helps me be confident for the next interview opportunity.

Take action! Network, socialise and build relationships. At the next networking event or social function, aim to speak to three new people. Share your interests and experiences with people that you meet. You may find leads in the least expected spaces. I recently attended a networking session in Wellington organised by Yes for Success (formerly known as Dress for Success). I spoke to a few people and found out about contract marking which I’ve never considered. I also found out that Yes for Success had just launched a mentoring programme. I subsequently emailed them about it and spoke with the coordinator. I’m now looking forward to a possible mentor match who could also be an accountability partner in my foray into a new career reality.

Choose Your Own Adventure

When I was growing up in the 80s, I read Choose Your Own Adventure books. I was hooked from the beginning with some trouble brewing head, a catastrophe to prevent, or a monster to fight. I loved it because I could play the hero and explore the different decision options, and hoped my choices didn’t lead to an ending that got me trapped under the quicksand forever.

Career transitions are becoming my new Choose Your Own Adventure books. With nothing much to lose, I’m been experimenting with different ideas and career options. Unlike the books I read, I can’t go back to page 75 and try a different course of action, but I can create many more pages of possibilities and endings. Plus I know I won’t get trapped under the quicksand forever. But not doing anything will.

References

Granovetter, M. S. (1973). The Strength of Weak Ties. American Journal of Sociology, 78(6), 1360–1380. http://www.jstor.org/stable/2776392

Krumboltz, J. D. (2009). The Happenstance Learning Theory. Journal of Career Assessment, 17(2), 135-154. https://doi.org/10.1177/1069072708328861

Krumboltz, J. D., & Levin, A. S. (2010). Luck is no accident: Making the most of happenstance in your life and career (2nd ed.). Atascadero, CA: Impact Publishers.

Mitchell, K. E., Levin, A. S., & Krumboltz, J. D. (1999). Planned happenstance: Constructing unexpected career opportunities. Journal of Counseling & Development, 77(2), 115–124. https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1556-6676.1999.tb02431.x