How To Be Different, How To Be Me

Identities and cultures get lost and found as people traverse land and sea. This a collection of ten poems written by an immigrant in New Zealand, a woman of colour with multiple identities. In some poems, she unpacks the social cues and cultural nuances of the situations she finds herself in. In others, she simply wants to be herself – at least one of the multiple identities she holds.

For best results, perform the poems like a song, a rap or spoken word.

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I celebrate the year of 2022 with my first self-published book How To Be Different, How To Be Me: Poems about identity and culture lost and found.

I started writing poetry when I was 15, published poems in local anthologies in Singapore in my early twenties and once entrenched in adulthood and soon after, motherhood, poetry became a distant memory. I started to write again when my children could walk and and run on their own, and as I saw my thirties start to move very quickly into another decade. Where did all that time go? And what did I have to show for it?

Words. I had words to capture the moments when something in me stirred: reacting to an incident, realising some dormant thought, or ranting in style.

By 2022, I had plenty of words for capturing scenes from motherhood, family holidays, coffee conversations, imagined lives of my alter egos, and pointy social commentary dressed up in verse. In 2022, the thirties were well over, and I found myself turning 45 – feeling restless about what I was going to do with my accumulated words, and tired of not having a birthday gift that I really wanted.

The antidote to that was buying myself a New Zealand Society of Authors (NZSA) membership and attending their Wellington Roadshow in July. I was going to be a writer, a poet, a someone who had words worth reading (and performing). I was inspired by the keynote address given by Witi Ihimaera who imparted these lessons: write to impossible deadlines, use writing structures like seasons, and decide what kind of writer you want to be. I re-connected with my element in a poetry masterclass by Siobhan Harvey. And I found like-minded people and discovered networks and events in the amazing literary capital of Wellington I call home.

I took part in an open mic poetry reading organised by the Wellington branch of the NZSA as part of National Poetry Day. I started to write poetry to submit to anthologies, literary journals and any occasion that called for poetry that resonated with my personal and life themes. When my poems were not accepted, I wasn’t disheartened, but was actually motivated to find alternative ways to express myself to the public.

Self-publishing in the age of ‘self’

In the age of the ‘self’, I was starting to think I was missing out on something by merely wishing that someday someone would somehow discover my talent and sign me up as their publisher. I concluded one Sunday afternoon that I could do that for myself – look at the countless other individuals who have released their own music, published their own books, and produced their own apps!

I’ve had already been routinely putting together collections of poetry to share with friends and family, designing book covers and layout using Canva and promoting them on my Facebook page and LinkedIn account. So I was just taking another a few additional steps to getting my work into a more concrete and legitimised format.

With a collection of recent poems already forming in my head, I quickly went into entrepreneurial mode, googling my way through how-to-guides, YouTube videos and learning through trial and error. The result of this self-learnt journey into self-publishing are two products: A Kindle product and a softcover book.

Where to find my book

You can purchase the Kindle book here from anywhere in the world (almost) and you don’t need a Kindle reader – just download the Kindle app on your device. And if you’re in New Zealand, you can place an order for the softcover book here (free shipping). If you’ve read my book, please consider leaving a review on Goodreads.

I also did a poetry reading on Facebook live and this being my first experience hosting a FB live event, I thought it went pretty well!

Facebook live poetry reading from How To Be Different, How To Be Me

My next goals are to get it to local bookstores, events and do more live poetry readings, in-person and online. I also hope to use the book as a springboard for small group discussions, workshops and any kind of event that promotes self-reflection and discovery as it relates to individuals or communities who identify as being ‘different’.

So I bid you adieu 2022, with all the words I’ve written here, and look forward to resting, recovering and re-connecting to prepare for 2023.